Well, it would sound insensitive and most of the people reading this one will hate me for this. But, as soon as I conceived everything was great I was getting all the attention and pampering the world that was making me feel really good. My husband uses to feed me anything I like, take me all the places I wanted and do everything I needed at the first go.
Although, well you would say I am lucky enough with my husband and that’s true. 9 months looked like 9 years to pass all this was happening as I was a whopping 85 kilos. When I conceived I was 65 kgs. So, like a heavyweight champion I had to move here and there. People in India scare pregnant women like she is the first one on the planet to give birth to the baby.
They told me innumerous things which made no logic and if in case I questioned them. They used to give me all the stares. Apart from this, my pregnancy made me quit my job as I wasn’t keeping too well. Vomiting, nausea, constipation, and Rhesus issues were common during the entire period. Still, I was happy because everyone around me was happy. When almost the D day arrived I had no labor pains.
Wonderfully all the testing and ultrasounds made no resort and abruptly the doctor said we need to do a c-section as the baby isn’t getting oxygen. We panicked as any parent would do and said yes to the situation. I almost waited for like 3 hours before getting ready for the OT as the doctor had another thing around to finish first and I had to be on some medicines. After three hours of critical waiting where my husband and father were crying like a baby for their lovely baby. My husband for the coming one and my father for me. It was only my mother who looked a little calmer.
I was taken to the OT for the c-section. The doctor on the next table was performing a normal labor a procedure that made me even more uncomfortable as I was lying on the OT table without clothes. Everyone was walking around and the other female was yelling, which even made me cry. I was asked if I ever had surgery by the anesthetist. I gladly said no. And, then he asked me to curve my spine so he could poke me with the anesthesia. So I become numb. It took the doctor entirely 20 minutes to get the little love baby aka goon I should call her out of me.
I was blindfolded. I asked was the baby ok. The doctor asked me what I wanted. I just said I wanted a healthy baby. And, that was it. I was shifted to the emergency due to blood loss. And, I was out for like 12 hours. I woke up with killing unbearable pain. I could not even move with all the tubes lynched to my body it was horrible. Still, I asked my husband to show me the baby’s face. If you think I would love the baby at the moment it was not true. I was glad that I did give birth to the baby and she was ok. But, love for the baby wasn’t the first feeling I got.
So, if you are one of the mothers like me, who hasn’t been able to love the baby at the first glaze. Do share what you felt in the comment section. I will be happy to know I am not the only one.