Relationships, breakup, patch up are very common these days. Each one of us is either in a relationship or dating someone. If not so, you might be waiting for your perfect person to meet you. Most of us had a past with a failed affair. Where someone ditched you or you cheated on someone or anything happened that ruined your relationship. You might be pretending that you moved on from the person. But somewhere inside that relationship, that person is always alive until and unless you have completely accepted what so ever had happened was for your good.
You might be having some regrets, some grudges, some hatred, some pain inside your heart. Your past can be horrific for your present if you are still gulped in between the memories. Moving on is never easy if you had genuine feelings involved. But there are many things we learn from our past. The mistakes we made earlier add on to our maturity level. We grow from what we did wrong. Never ever blame your past for all those things that went wrong. Always remember everything happens for a reason. Not everything comes into your life to stay forever. But the important thing is you should always keep learning. Things you should learn from your previous relationship are summed up below.
- Step into a new relationship only when you are completely prepared for it.
When you had a failed relationship in your past, your mind is already engaged with all the bad things that happened to you. In between this time you may meet many people, you may also feel an attraction from the person who reminds you of your past or someone who is too good to you, or who was too supportive when you were low on life. Always remember this attraction is not everything. The person you are getting feeling for might only be doing this for you because they have sympathy for you and for all bad that happened to you. Don’t start having feelings instantly. Give time to yourself.
Also when you feel like someone is getting attracted to you or getting emotionally attached to you, make them clear about your mental and emotional state. Don’t keep them in confusion and hope. Don’t give false hope for a future relationship if you are not prepared for it. Don’t jump into the next relationship only for the sake of moving on. You will ultimately hurt your partner’s emotions. Give time to yourself. More on with someone only when you are completely prepared for it.
- Don’t ruin your present for your past
Having a bad past is okay. Having a failed relationship is okay. But don’t spoil your present and the future for it. There always something good written in your destiny. Not every person around you is bad. Not everyone comes into your life to hurt you. If your future is calling you just move on. Forget about what bad you had in your past. Everything happens for a reason. A bright future is a reason for a bad past. Your destiny wants you to be mature enough to value what is is about to offer you in your future. Learn from your past and move on. Just don’t waste your present for everything that went wrong in your past. Accept your past and enjoy your present. That’s what life is all about.
- Be a mature partner
The best thing you can do to yourself and your partner is being a mature and supportive partner. From the past, you had you already know what immaturity in a relationship can lead to. Your impulsive reactions can break a bond that is very special to you. Don’t behave insensitively with the person you are planning to move on. After having a bad past you would have realized the mistakes you make in a relationship. You should make certain changes in your behavior too. When a relationship breaks it’s not only a single person’s mistake. Somewhere you were a culprit too. You too was the reason behind the disappointment of your partner. So never make the same mistakes again.
Whenever you find someone who has got romantic feelings for you, don’t be in a hurry to get into a relationship. Behave like a mature person. Take time. Remember the mistakes. You made it earlier. Cross cheek the person you are planning to move on with. And when you find no flaws in the person, then don’t spoil everything you have been cooking so long by adding some bitter flavor of immaturity. Add extra sugar to your future life. Be a mature partner in your future relationship. Understand your partner, be patient with the person you are dating. Give your partner a proper time to make their decision about their life. Respect their integrity. If you behave like a mature person your past mistakes can turn fruitful.
- Blind trust is never healthy
You already made a big mistake in your past by trusting the wrong person. Don’t repeat it again. Even if you are feeling that the person is right, always keep a space for a second thought about it. You had already suffered a lot. You don’t deserve second suffering. If you are planning to get into a relationship with someone else whom you feel perfect for you, wait and think about it again. Take your time before making any decision. Before making commitment again, know the person first. Understand their mentality, their ideology, their thinking on different perceptive and what is love and relationship for them. Make a decision only when you are completely satisfied. Don’t stay in a doubtful situation again.
But this doesn’t mean you should doubt every next person you meet. Not every individual in this world is born to hurt you. Some are here to love and support you. Be wise in choosing what and who is right for you. This is the best you can do to yourself.
- Learn self-love first
Learn to cherish your individuality. After having a breakup you will learn what does it mean to value your individuality. The most important person in your life is yourself. Cherish the beauty inside you. Add good things to your personality. Understand your worth and develop self-love. It wasn’t your loss if someone left your life. God had already made some better plans for you. So use this extra time to bring the best out of yourself. Yor are important for people who love you including your family and friends. The best thing after a breakup you can do is self-enhancement.
Never keep guilt in your heart even if it was your mistake. What was meant to go had already gone. Now a new journey is waiting for you. Learn from the mistakes you had made in your past, accept them, try not to repeat them again and live your present, and wait for a better future.
- A relationship is a two-way journey
If you had a failed relationship, it was not all your fault. A relationship is between to person. What so ever happens is between and by both individuals. So if anything went wrong it was not wholly your mistake or your partner’s mistake. You both made mistakes and that was the reason your relationship failed. Now it is already over what it meant to be gone. The best you can do to yourself is just to accept your past and move on. Feeling guilty life long for what so ever had happens is not a good option. You may feel bad for the thing that went wrong. You may feel it was all your fault, you could have save that relationship but my friend, it’s not true. It was a mutual failure. Mistakes were made by both of you. So don’t take everything upon you. What so ever happened was wrong. Now accept that wrong and move on with never making those mistakes future again.
- Trust your instincts
Before making any decision you should hear a voice that comes from your heart. The cosmic energies around you already know what gonna happen next. So like earlier don’t ignore your instincts this time. If you start feeling a strong attraction for someone, think about the things you had in your past, remember the mistakes you made in your past, remember how you ignored your instincts. Don’t repeat the same mistake again. Your heart chooses what is always right for you. Trust your instincts they will guide you in the right direction.
- Introspect yourself
As mentioned earlier, a relationship is two ways journey, if you had a failed relationship in your past, somewhere you were also. Responsible for failure. In place of having regrets, it is better to improve. After having a breakup you should introspect your self. You should take a deep dive into your past and find out places where you were wrong. You should identify mistakes you mad to win your past relationship. You should understand things that can spoil a beautiful relationship. This introspection will make you a good person and a better partner for your future relationship as you already know what is not to be done. This introspection will remove guilt from your heart and will make an emotionally strong person.
- Work on your weakness
You have a lot to learn from your past. You need to work on your flaws and enhance good inside you. You may be knowing why your past relationship failed. Somewhere inside you too know places where you made mistakes. Somewhere you too lacked in making efforts, understanding your partner, or you created an unnecessary issue. This is the time when you can work on the weaknesses inside you and prepare for the future relationship. Give time to yourself.
- Value the person you are with
No matter how bad your past is, it does not give you any right to disrespect the person you are present with. If you were ditched in your past, it does not mean that your present partner will also do the same to you. Also, it does not give you any right to doubt all your partner’s actions. This way you will ruin this relationship for what you had in your past. You have to be a supportive partner. Not every person on this earth is bad. Not everyone will come into your life to hurt you. Even if you feel so, then you need to grow up. Don’t hurt someone who loves you unnecessarily. In place of creating scenes, you should respect the person who accepted you with your past and still loves you. You should not lose the hold on the person who values you. Your past is already gone value what you have in present.
- Acceptance is must
You can only stay happy in your future life when you have already accepted what had happened was for your good. Your past may be hurting. Your past can disturb you every now and then if you have not yet accepted it as an important part of your life which helps you grow.you just can’t erase your past from your life. It is possible to have memories attached. It is possible that few people, places, things can remind you of your past. This can be very disturbing if you still 5ry to escape from your past memories. Also, this is very unhealthy. For your future relationship. If your past still can affect you emotionally and mentally than your present/future relationship is in danger. You cannot accept the new person in your life if you have not moved on from what the one you had previously. You should not hate your past. You should accept it either as a lesson or an important section which was necessary to make you stronger.
- Always be prepared for the. Worst that can happen
After being all through you would have already understood that the future is uncertain. Anything can happen at any point. Attachments are obvious, having relationships are obvious, having a beautiful love life is obvious. But any time anything can go wrong. A most beautiful thing can turn horrifying. Even the strongest bonds can break. While enjoying the present to its fullest, somewhere inside you should be prepared for the situation if things go wrong. This doesn’t mean you should stay apart from the world. Thing something will last forever is being so I practical. Despite everything is in the right place now you should always be prepared for the worst.
There are many things you can learn from your past relationship. Every day you grow with adding experiences to your life. Always remember, if you are having a bad day today or you had been in a wrong relationship, if your partner cheated on you, if you lost some on you loved, this is not the end. There is always something good waiting for you in the future. Be hopeful about life. There is a lot you have to go through. You have to face many ups and downs in life. Don’t give up so early. One or the other day, you will find your peace.