Readers, it’s time to get real. Relationships come and go. It may not be that serious of a decision to end things if you know deep down that the person you’re with is just not going to work out in the long term. Everyone has their best shot at a relationship, with different people and for different periods of time in life. And you have to be ready to cut the cord.
‘I Don’t Want To Be Hurt And I’m Not Okay With Pain’
In a recent article written by an anonymous guy, he said that in order for him to get over his ex-girlfriend, he had to get over her entirely. He admitted his flaws, painful memories of their relationship and resolved not to go back on his word again. He even went as far as creating a song just so his ex will hear it once and for all and thus giving her closure.
I don’t know what’s wrong with this dude.
Sure, it’s good to get closure. But doesn’t he know that it’ll only hurt her more if you can’t be there for her when she needs you the most? He’s admitting to his mistakes, so now is not the time to be holding onto past hurts. Unless he’s planning on going back on his decision again, this really is the time to walk away gracefully and move on in your life.
I love words like these: “I’m not okay with pain and I’m not okay with this hurting.” Putting aside the fact that it sounds corny, this phrase could also work for your own mind – if you’re able to come up with an answer which is better than saying “No. This won’t work out.”
We all have our own shortcomings, and it’s good to point them out to ourselves (or others, but that’s another conversation altogether) in order to make better decisions in the future. We all do things we regret. But when it comes to our romantic partners, should we be okay with someone else hurting us?
We’ve all been hurt in romantic relationships throughout the years. What we need is for these ways of thinking not to cripple us from getting over someone properly so that we can move on and be happier without them. And maybe the person who got hurt was a dickhead before as well, and this realization will help us let go.
“But the song is beautiful,” some may say. Why not let her hear it so that you can both move on from your relationship?
Breaking up is not always bad
For me, a breakup isn’t just picking up the pieces – I want to spread all the broken glass before it cuts me again. I want to get back on my feet and realize how much I’m worth and how much time I’ve wasted with someone who wasn’t doing what they should have been doing for me. As opposed to feeling grateful for their presence in my life, this is what hatred does to you: it makes you stronger and more certain of how things are supposed to be.
I’ve come to accept the fact that people change and sometimes it’s not possible for them to prioritize you when you need them to. But this isn’t an excuse for them to hurt me and then say “But I love you so much.” It’s like a bully beating up their best friend for no apparent reason. Sure he/she did it because they care, but that doesn’t make it alright.
The sooner we accept this the better. People are going to hurt us all throughout our lives, some more than others. But these experiences also teach us lessons in life – we grow from relationships as long as we don’t let them burn us.