It is exhausting to be in relationships that frequently see clash, lack authenticity, pay little attention, or show little reciprocity. In some relationships, the feeling of tension, irritation, or anger get stronger than the feeling of love. Maybe it’s your judgmental dad, your friend who frequently cancels plans, or your inflexible partner. Whatever the cause, exhausting relationships typically fail to promote sincere connection.
Being aware of the signs of fatigue and respecting your feelings is the first step in the process. If you acknowledge that you are emotionally tired, it does not suggest that you are ungrateful for the relationship. It simply means that modifications could be required to fulfil each other needs. Here are a few tell-tale signs of an emotionally draining relationship and what you need to do.
Conversation is usually other person centric:
Start by stating what you need them to do if they are unaware of your demands. If the other person is unable to listen you, realise that it’s okay to rely on others who can and will take care of your needs. You need to change this single person centric dynamics.
You loose your true self around them:
Discuss your feelings with them and work on letting them see the true you. If you don’t already have venues where you feel comfortable being yourself, try joining new online groups, meetups, or local activities. Understand that people change and outgrow relationships at various times. Remember that you deserve to embrace parts of who you are because ignoring yourself and your emotions can cause shame.
Around them, you feel as if you are treading on thin ice:
Think on what makes you nervous about them. Pay attention to the source of the feelings as you attempt to openly express your emotional needs to the other person. Then, observe their reaction. If the other person’s actions are harmful to your wellness, set boundaries. Instead than skirting the subject, ask the person directly, “Are you upset with me?” or “Are you okay?”
If this relationship is controlling other aspects of your life:
Think about how your other relationships, your profession, and other elements of your life are being impacted by the relationship. Reconnect with your underlying principles and start making decisions based on them rather than the unfavourable aspects of the relationship. If you see that there is a lot of interference, give yourself permission to take a step back and communicate your concerns to your partner, friend, or family member.
You constantly feel critisized and underappreciated:
Remember that your worth is not based on what other people think of you. If someone criticises you, talk to them about how you are feeling rather than adding to the criticism because it is ineffective to criticise someone back. Know the difference between a complaint and a criticism, and know that if the person’s behaviour does not change after you address how the criticism is hurting you, you have the right to disconnect and look for supportive situations where you feel respected and appreciated.